Philip's Notes to Staff and Parents

 

For Our Great Administrative Teams:   The Coaching For Handling Children In The Office For Behaviors That Don't Work

     Everyone on our administrative team must know how to have an "Empowering Interaction" with a child who is brought to the office for a behavior that doesn't work.

     An "Empowering Interaction" is one that gives the child verbal and non-verbal messages that they are great, you respect them even if their recent behavior didn't work.  The distinction is:  the child is always great, and even great people do behaviors that don't work sometimes.

     Always be light or upbeat when talking with a child about a behavior (never sad, disappointed or accusatory).  Even when a child repeats behaviors that don't work, the learning opportunity that such a behavior can be just hasn't been taken yet, that's all!  Smile a lot; tell them they are great and give them choices about their behaviors.  Leave it up to them.  (The great learning opportunities here are independence and self-control!)

     The child should never be in the office more than two or three minutes and the actual conversation with him or her should not take more than 30 seconds.  Never dwell on behaviors that don't work.  The consequence for a behavior may take a lot longer at home, but even at home the conversation about it should be very brief, not more than 60 seconds.

     The exception to this is when a child is out of control.  Then the Director or Assistant Director may call the parent and ask him/her to have a conversation with their child.  This is usually done after first contacting one of our behavior coaches and discussing what will work best for the child.

To summarize:

  1. Talk to the children ASAP when they come to the office.
  2. Be glad to see them, but don't invite them to cuddle, sit on your lap or in any way make the office more inviting than the classroom.
  3. Greet them and see if they would be willing to do what works next time.  (Get them to choose.  Do not instruct them or make choices for them.)
  4. Have the whole conversation be under 60 seconds maximum if you can!
  5. Thank them for the conversation and ask them if they are ready to go back to the room or playground.  Accompany them back.

     Let children who are crying cry as long as they want.  Make them comfortable in a chair and tell them you will talk to them when they are ready.